BIMBO CABIDOG
Years ago, a new acquaintance asked me to help in their municipality’s
planning for comprehensive medium-term development. I have used the buzz words CMTD
many times in conversation and seminars where I shared inputs. But wow, to know
a local government unit take them seriously and actually want me to be part of the
planning process was beyond joy. It was an offer I could not refuse (apologies
to Michael Corleone).
So I came on the scheduled activity-launching conference. You
cannot overhighlight my blush at the presence of village chiefs (in full
force), their leader – the ABC president, the mayor, and the LGU’s designated Technical
Working Group. The latter was composed of local heads of offices. I felt
butterflies in my stomach. I had to forget about me, to stand before them.
My acquaintance really opened a door to three gold nuggets: an
opportunity to grow, an official privilege to participate in local history, and
an exciting time to live. Her role (not exactly her position) was vital to her
town’s government machinery being revved up to a new direction. I was just
vital at being maybe a replica of The Nobody, unsure if my kind truly has the
right to earn a living. She made it sure, however, that the stint meant
monetary gain.
Well, no pretence, I wasn’t exactly up to that. My professional
credentials were not worth a second thought, simply because I had none. I had
only some sort of talent at speech and at standing before an audience without
melting, a product of trying it all those years living on the edge and God’s
pity. Yes, I got skills in fiercely critical political-economic analysis from
the University of Hard Knocks.
Anyway, a measure of currency for a man’s worth wasn’t what
I was after. I just sought to pay my rent, settle monthly bills, and above
everything bring food to the table. What I sought wasn’t pay but wherewithal. And
hey, the self-esteem booster was great.
I spent days there. The days became months and years. The
place offered a bailiwick to my dreams for me, community and country. I just
found myself one day caring for the people, their futuristic visions, the
collective directions their barangays take. I participated in their change
until I felt already belonging to them, more than I belonged to the only town I
called home.
Capoocan, the municipality I am referring to, was at the
crossroads of two divergent ideas. One was of departure from the past. The other
was of permanence. No few among the local folks resisted change. They clung
dearly to their economic fiefdoms, their traditional political turfs, and their
old rule. But the ground was shifting underneath. This was of the people being
introduced by a rapidly changing world to new ways of living and of marshaling
their fates.
As the ground shifted, the resisters would themselves be
swept away. Not just a handful lost foothold, not of course by revolution, but
by attrition. Old means burst like old wine skins full of the new spirit. Once you
take the new, you close the past for all times. And you sweep the clingers to
the leftovers of history.
It was at this dynamic period of a community on the cusp of
fresh developments that I grounded my fantasies at social transformation. I
entered it not presuming knowledge or far better know-how, but as an avid
learner from the masses. You have to be a participant of change to learn.
Sometimes, amid discouragements I kept answering myself: you
know how it is in this sphere, with the overused and abused traditions for
everyone’s self-aggrandizement. I then honed my teeth in the politics of local
governance. I also negotiated the tricky intricacies of electoral politics,
handling one campaign or two. I was lucky to have my learning curb, no PhDs.
An arena of engagement with so much for everyone’s personal
advancement and egotistic fill would surprise if it has no intrigues coming
from various points 380 degrees. Yet, I was still surprised to be hit by one. And
that hit profoundly one’s ego and bat for a career. But my survivor instinct taught
me how not to fight and steered me out of troubled waters.
Include the above in the lessons. Development is not merely
propelled by theoretical dialectics. It is impelled by contention in real
fields of battles. It is about people at odds with each other, persons
challenged to do best by their opposites.
Fear of saying goodbye to a sole means of living as always
would soften my rockbound stances. I compromised on lifelong doctrines. I yielded
high ground, not only by inch but by square kilometer, for at the back of it
all was uncertainty. Piecework wages and talent fees proved occasional. From
one deal to the other, I had to deal all over again.
In the long intervals of unemployment, I slammed into literally hungry
years. For the family, hunger would become a fact of life, not to speak of
electricity repeatedly being cut off for unpaid arrears, and a landlady at
pains how to evict five prospectively homeless mortals with six months of
forgone rentals.
But Capoocan has been more than an on-and-off engagement. It
was a job that you care with all your life, because it is you. It runs in your
bloodstreams, since you saw a society blighted by an oppressive order and deprived
of development. It awakened every morning since your eyes began to see people brutalized
by exploitation. You take a rest. But you always await one more nostalgic round
of the good fight.